How many activities come and go throughout a day that you don't give a thought to? Mundane activities like taking a shower, shaving your legs, putting on socks, tying your shoes, grocery shopping, cooking dinner, picking up a child, making your bed, etc Hundreds? Any idea how many of these activities are a giant pain the.........er...........more difficult as a chunky dunker? The answer is many, too many....most really!
Now as a chunky dunker I am fully aware of these challenges, and I get that it is a part of the whole plus size parcel, however every now and again it just gets freaking exhausting having everyday tasks cause pain and exhaustion and it makes me cranky.
So here I am just trying to take a shower and shave my legs and I am getting seriously irritated. The soap has made my non-slip bathtub mat slippery causing my leg, feet and toe muscles to hang on for dear life, while I desperately try to shave my entire leg before blacking out from lack of oxygen due to squishing my diaphragm while in what my chunky dunking body has declared an upside-down position, apparent from the head rush I am getting....or maybe that is from the lack of oxygen....who knows. At last....one leg done, and I lean against the shower wall, face flushed, fairly certain I will need a shower from the sweat I am working up while taking a shower and I debate how badly I need to have both legs shaved. Who's ever gonna know, right? Yeah, no, that is too weird. I'm in for one, I'm in for both. So I prep for round two and do the whole toe gripping, head- rushing, don't pass out leg shaving battle and come out victorious.....well victorious enough.....except now I am beyond irritable. I have achy muscles and a slight headache and all from just taking a stupid shower. Really?
As I sulk in my room I start berating myself for being fat and for making my life harder because I am fat. I start mentally ticking off a list of things I could do better or do at all if I weren't fat and with each one I list I feel worse and worse. I checklist myself right into a frump....and now I want to feel better, so I get.....a snickers bar.....and I keep sulking. It doesn't take too long to realize that NONE of this helping, but now I am in too deep and I'm stuck in the frump muck and mire and with each step I try to take the muck of the frump sucks me in deeper.
(sigh)
Now what?
Well now, I have to wipe the snickers bar crumbs away and begin to un-frump.
Yes, I am fat. Yes, being fat makes doing stuff hard. Yes, it sucks. And yes, I can change it.
Today I am fat and hate shaving my legs. Tomorrow is a new day and I get to face it with hard earned, freshly shaved legs...and I will be un-frumped and ready to make it better!
No comments:
Post a Comment