Oh dear sweet, little children. These pint sized wonders always seem to pipe up in the most direct and honest way don't they? You ever want a direct answer to "do these pants make my butt look big?" then ask a child and you will know the answer, plus a few other things you didn't like "your arms look funny in that shirt too!"
As a mom I have had my fair share of moments where my children let words fly that simply mortify me as they have pointed out one flaw or another of a poor innocent bystander just trying to get errands done.
And I have also been the "innocent bystander" hit by the big, honest (and admittedly slightly hurtful, although unintentional) words of the micro truth tellers. How many times I have heard "why is she SO biiiiiiggg mama?" or "your arms are HUUUGE!" or "wow you are fat!" Talk about direct shot! And I have smiled, blushed and walked off my embarrassment, still smarting from the smack of truth to my ego.
Today, at work I came face to face with a sweet child and their direct, unfiltered commentary, "Wow, have you lost weight?"
Huh? Did she say something....positive?
"Well, yes I might have. I have been working hard."
(Big smile) "I think you have! When I first saw you I saw you were really big. You aren't so big now!"
"Aww! Thank you!"
"You're welcome!"
And off they went to enjoy their world of pint sized fun, while I sat there simply glowing!
I was told I looked like I lost weigh AND it was by a child. A CHILD, a little tell-you-like-it-is, child!
Yeah that totally made my day!
Thanks kid!
Friday, March 20, 2015
Thursday, March 19, 2015
Just talkin' to myself!
As time has passed my thoughts have often come back to this little blog of mine, and although I would lay in bed for hours "writing" what I would say here, I just never returned to write. Not sure why, but I just....didn't. HOWEVER, time has passed, life has pushed forward and I have felt encouraged to write again....so here we go!
The past several months, maybe even year, have been a doozy! Life has rained, poured, hailed, monsoon-ed, hurricane-d and tidal waved my little world every which way. To say I found myself drowning would be an understatement.
Loss of job for my husband
Going to work for me
Ending homeschool and transitioning my kiddos to full time public school
Loss of three grandparents
Two dead cars- one finally repaired, but only thanks to generous loans as the repairs were significant
Looking at having to move into who knows what and narrowing my life down to who knows how little
And all the other odds and ends of ups, downs and sideways of life
Needless to say I found myself contemplating life A LOT. What is important? What am I capable of? What changes can be made? Where do I find a miracle? What is faith? What is hope? Can I get through this? Can I get my family through this?
One restless night I lay in bed, tossing, thinking, turning, tossing again...my mind was racing, my heart heavy and sad. It had been another long day with the family snipping at each other and the energy in the house humming low and negative. As I lay there, drained and tired of being drained and tired, my heart and soul reached out for relief. I began to pray and I began to, well....talk to myself. A little bit of a three-way conversation I guess! And in the midst of this conversation I decided it was time to be happy. I wanted to BE happy! And in that moment I had a heart to heart with myself.
As this was me talking to me you'll just have to go with it:
Me: I am tired of being sad and tired. My energy is so low and negative and it is time to stop.
Self: Mmhmm
Me: I think I can be happy. I think I can fix me from the inside out. I think it is time to allow myself to BE happy. To ACCEPT happiness and pride for my accomplishments and be who I am and not who I think I am supposed to be for everyone else.
Self: Mm-okay
Me: So we are doing something about this. Self, with God's help and guidance, we are going to set up an internal program to out the negative and get positive AND while we are at it we are setting an internal program to reach my weight loss goal too! Self, I can physically lose weight, right?
Self: Yes.
Me: And I can reach the weight goal I want to when I want to?
Self: Yes.
Me: And I can be a positive force to be reckoned with from the inside out?
Self: Yes.
Me: Ok! Let's do this then! (internal debate to wait till morning or start now......) Right now! No waiting because if I wait it won't happen! Right?
Self: Right! Ok, let's do it!
Me: I want to set up two programs right now. The first is to set everything in motion internally to reach y weight loss goal. I want to let go of all the negativity that is helping trap weight and not allowing me to be healthy for me. And as the negativity leaves I want the void filled with positive affirmations! I am allowed to be happy and healthy! I will reach my goal and I am worth it! Ok?
Self: Ok! Running!
Me: Next I want a program running that purges the negative energy and shields me from new outside negative energy. Can we do this?
Self: Yup.
Me: AWESOME! Ok, so set up the program to clear out the negative that is currently festering, put up shields to protect us from outside negativity AND if negativity begins to build from the inside like jealousy or irritation I want it cleared right away too! And I want all this negativity that is purged replaced with positive affirmations that I am a person of worth with talents and skills that I can be proud of! I am God's child and loved! And any other positivity that will renew my soul. Ok?
Self: Got it! Running that one too!
Me: And I want them ongoing! It is time for change and we are not stopping! Ok?
Self: Ok!
And since this little conversation in the middle of the night with myself and God things have felt and been better! Part of it is perspective and part is blessings in the form of human angels, but every step has been a happier one! I can feel a positivity that I haven't felt in a long time and it makes me so HAPPY to feel happy! And I feel assured that no only can I be who I am, but I can be proud of who I am too!
It is just the beginning....but what a new beginning it is.....
Breath in. Breath out. And believe!
The past several months, maybe even year, have been a doozy! Life has rained, poured, hailed, monsoon-ed, hurricane-d and tidal waved my little world every which way. To say I found myself drowning would be an understatement.
Loss of job for my husband
Going to work for me
Ending homeschool and transitioning my kiddos to full time public school
Loss of three grandparents
Two dead cars- one finally repaired, but only thanks to generous loans as the repairs were significant
Looking at having to move into who knows what and narrowing my life down to who knows how little
And all the other odds and ends of ups, downs and sideways of life
Needless to say I found myself contemplating life A LOT. What is important? What am I capable of? What changes can be made? Where do I find a miracle? What is faith? What is hope? Can I get through this? Can I get my family through this?
One restless night I lay in bed, tossing, thinking, turning, tossing again...my mind was racing, my heart heavy and sad. It had been another long day with the family snipping at each other and the energy in the house humming low and negative. As I lay there, drained and tired of being drained and tired, my heart and soul reached out for relief. I began to pray and I began to, well....talk to myself. A little bit of a three-way conversation I guess! And in the midst of this conversation I decided it was time to be happy. I wanted to BE happy! And in that moment I had a heart to heart with myself.
As this was me talking to me you'll just have to go with it:
Me: I am tired of being sad and tired. My energy is so low and negative and it is time to stop.
Self: Mmhmm
Me: I think I can be happy. I think I can fix me from the inside out. I think it is time to allow myself to BE happy. To ACCEPT happiness and pride for my accomplishments and be who I am and not who I think I am supposed to be for everyone else.
Self: Mm-okay
Me: So we are doing something about this. Self, with God's help and guidance, we are going to set up an internal program to out the negative and get positive AND while we are at it we are setting an internal program to reach my weight loss goal too! Self, I can physically lose weight, right?
Self: Yes.
Me: And I can reach the weight goal I want to when I want to?
Self: Yes.
Me: And I can be a positive force to be reckoned with from the inside out?
Self: Yes.
Me: Ok! Let's do this then! (internal debate to wait till morning or start now......) Right now! No waiting because if I wait it won't happen! Right?
Self: Right! Ok, let's do it!
Me: I want to set up two programs right now. The first is to set everything in motion internally to reach y weight loss goal. I want to let go of all the negativity that is helping trap weight and not allowing me to be healthy for me. And as the negativity leaves I want the void filled with positive affirmations! I am allowed to be happy and healthy! I will reach my goal and I am worth it! Ok?
Self: Ok! Running!
Me: Next I want a program running that purges the negative energy and shields me from new outside negative energy. Can we do this?
Self: Yup.
Me: AWESOME! Ok, so set up the program to clear out the negative that is currently festering, put up shields to protect us from outside negativity AND if negativity begins to build from the inside like jealousy or irritation I want it cleared right away too! And I want all this negativity that is purged replaced with positive affirmations that I am a person of worth with talents and skills that I can be proud of! I am God's child and loved! And any other positivity that will renew my soul. Ok?
Self: Got it! Running that one too!
Me: And I want them ongoing! It is time for change and we are not stopping! Ok?
Self: Ok!
And since this little conversation in the middle of the night with myself and God things have felt and been better! Part of it is perspective and part is blessings in the form of human angels, but every step has been a happier one! I can feel a positivity that I haven't felt in a long time and it makes me so HAPPY to feel happy! And I feel assured that no only can I be who I am, but I can be proud of who I am too!
It is just the beginning....but what a new beginning it is.....
Breath in. Breath out. And believe!
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