Reality Check

The interesting thing about having a blog and friends that read it is that if you are too negative you end up with large boot prints all over your butt! Seriously!

So first of all, thank you to all of you who read, listened, encouraged and kicked my butt OUT of my self pity funk and helped me see a better perspective! Love to you guys!

Mind over matter......there really is something to that. It is interesting to be in my position- having success and yet being blind to it. In the process of "de-funking" I had two experiences that helped drive home just how far I have come.

While out shopping on the hunt for a hot pink shaker cup my sister and I passed by little weights- 3 and 5 pound ones. So for the heck of it I had her stack them up in my arms trying to get to the amount of weight I had lost. There weren't enough weights but we did get to about 35 pounds. Holy moley guacamole! That was HEAVY and I was only holding it for a few minutes AND it was only PART of the total amount of weight I have lost to date. WHAT???? I used to live and walk and function with that weight ALL THE TIME!!! How could I have lost all that and not realized what I had accomplished? And how could I have let myself put not just that much weight but so much more on? As we were putting them back she noted that the small 3 pound and 1 pound ones weren't too bad to hold and it was like a light burst through the clouds shining on us while angels sang- um yeah 1 or 2 pounds at a time isn't all that bad, isn't all that noticeable, thus making it so easy to just keep gaining little by little till before you know it ..... BAM chunky dunker-ville!

In the same way the weight has been coming off and I just couldn't see it. I have been feeling it and acting on it as I unconsciously move more and do more and wear smaller clothes, but I was blind to the overall progress. I couldn't help but think "so what I'm still fat and have a loooooong way to go."

Then I was going through pictures, some old and some new. And with permission I have to share.

 ONE YEAR AGO:

TWO WEEKS AGO:

I can't ignore that. I just can't. Plain and simple there is less us, less ME! And if I am honest with myself, and take the time to think back while I let my boot bruised booty re-coup, there HAVE been small, but definite changes. I can walk longer distances and stay on my feet for longer periods of time without getting winded and tired. I have more energy to get things done. I am not as sore all the time- in my back, my legs and my feet, I still have to fight the demons of my bad habits and cravings and mental struggles (like laziness and associating food to friends) but, each step, each and every step little as they may be are steps in the RIGHT direction and they are moving me toward a healthier and overall happier me!