My two youngest children have baby blankets that they have carried around since they were very little. These blankets are quite literally their security blankets. They feel safe and comforted wrapped inside them or when they hold them. As they have gotten older they don't tote them around everywhere and have learned to comfort themselves without them, but they still seek out blankie when they are really hurt or sad or scared or upset.
Some days as a chunky dunker I wish I had a blankie, something so simple that by holding it I feel better, safe. And on the worst days I could throw it over my head and hide from the hurts of the world. Many days I am my own worst enemy. Other days I just don't feel strong enough to keep the negative out. And it cannot be denied that feelings and emotions greatly affect our physical being and visa verse. When I am sick I am not very happy. And when I am not very happy my body hurts.
Today life hurts. There is no rhyme or reason. Maybe because the sun is hiding. Maybe because I woke up on the wrong side of the bed. Maybe because I am tired. Maybe because my hormones are out of whack. But today I wish I had a blankie. I wish I could be safe and hide all snuggled warm and safe from the hurts of the world, my heart and my mind.
I know I should be stronger and pull myself up. I know I am an adult and I don't need a security blanket. I know beyond the emotional turmoil I really am ok. I know the clouds will clear and all will be fine, I just got to get through. But I don't want to be strong. I don't want to be the adult. I want a blankie, just for today. Tomorrow I will be strong.
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