Cupcake Confession

It all began with a cupcake. A sweet, chocolate, frosting topped morsel of temptation in a wrapper. I wasn't going to eat it. I wasn't even going to lick the frosting from my fingers. I was transporting the small bit of heaven home for my family and then suddenly it was gone and I had crumbs on my shirt and chocolate on my tongue. What had I done???? What.......had.....I.....dooooone??? After weeks of sacrifice and hard week I fell into temptation face first and I enjoyed every scrumptious moment! Yum yum yum in the yummiest of ways!

But it didn't stop there......

Once the door was open I could not contain myself and I indulged, I splurged, I dove head first into the world of temptation and gave in completely. Even as my body began to beg me to stop my taste buds pushed me onward....french toast, syrup, eggs, hash browns, sour cream, cheese, orange juice, cinnamon roll, whipped cream, a fair gyro and an elephant ear. OMG!!! Going....going....gone! Food coma and overwhelming guilt. Guilt enough to make me feel even more ill than I already was. Ugh. Ill and guilty enough to even give into old habits. Sigh. Having flushed my gluttony away I wallowed in my guilt and pondered the situation.

Besides feeling guilt what else did I feel? Confusion. Secretly I had wanted the food to not taste good. I had wanted it to be easy to not eat it. And that was soooooo not what happened. I sat there craving more, knowing I had to get back on track, worried I couldn't and wondering "what am I going to do once I have lost this weight?" I don't want to just lose weight I want to change my life and in this moment I realized I will always be fighting my indulgence cravings. So now what? I do better tomorrow, that's what. And I did. The next day I got back on track and followed my plan fighting each craving. And that is what I am going to continue doing until the next bridge.......but beware you future cupcake....tempt me and you may not make it home to the loving hands of my children, but rather the bottom of a garbage can! (Gulp....did I really just say that? Yes. Yes I did!)