Mind vs Matter

Oh. My. Gosh!!

Seriously self what in the heck is WRONG with you????

Brain says, 

"Seriously we need to lose weight this whole trying to live and function 

thing is getting ridiculous!" 

Mouth replies,

 "But....nom....nom.....nom!!! Coooookie!!!" 

Brain replies (with huff and tone) 

"Come ON! You KNOW better! Eat less move more! 

Carbs & sugar make you feel like CRAP!!"  

(cue memories of smaller self) 

"Don't you REMEMBER being smaller and how good it felt?"

Motivation chimes in, 

"Remember your goals? Travel? New clothes?"

Mouth 

"Munch....munch.....is there buttered popcorn around here?"

Brain and stomach,

 "YOU DON'T NEED IT!! No room in the inn, seriously! Just stop! You will regret this in the morning I promise you that."

(moment of contemplation)

Motivation,

 "That's it! Stop now and commit to do better tomorrow! Yo got this! You want this!"

Brain,

 "Besides you freakin' KNOW what you need to do. You are mentally overloaded with know-how! SO just do it!"

Will power,

 "Well....maybe......"

Mouth,

 "Nom....nom....nom cookies AND popcorn! It's like heaven!!"

Will power, 

"Ok. We got this! Tomorrow!"

Brain, 

"Uh-huh....sure." 

I always thought I was more of a mind over matter kind of person. Think it. Do it. except when it comes to weight loss and my body. Seriously, why? I can tell when something is"off" and usually have an idea what I need to get myself back on track, like vitamin D when I am feeling low or extra water if I am sluggish. But for some reason I cannot wrap my mind around my big ol' butt and kick it into high gear!! Maybe my brain just isn't big enough for that challenge.

New year is supposed to be a time of resolutions, new starts and goal chasing and I am hiding in the cupboard behind the oreos. Why? WHY???? And this time around in particular I am feeling not just slightly less than motivated, but almost down-right stubborn! Really? Why am I mentally digging my heels in against losing weight? I know I want it. Really I do, but I just keep saying "tomorrow" and then not just throwing in the towel but eating it and the cookies and the chips and the kitchen sink and is there some dip I can put this in? I mean seriously- I have to laugh at myself in a way.

I gotta figure myself out and in a hurry and I laugh at myself, again, because I find myself actually at a loss as what to do next. Really? This is an old familiar road- ya just start walking till you start rolling and then keep going. Maybe that is my problem. I don't want to take the same road. This road keeps circling back. So how do I get on a new path? A better path? A more successful path?

....

....

I don't know for sure. Well, I probably do, but I don't want to think about it because my mouth wants a cookie at the moment. Mind over matter or not, I have a feeling there may be some matter over mind headed my way soon ready to kick some mind, matter and tail in the right direction- yeah you know who you are. I know who you are. You know, I know who you are. And I know, you know, I know who you are....that isn't going to stop you is it? In truth I probably don't want it to but -_- there is my grrrr face anyway. Be afraid matter over mind people, I am feeling awful stubborn and feisty and seem to have no issue being in my own way. And my oh my that just sounds petulant and dumb doesn't it! I guess my will power is a wee bit hormonal like a temper mental teen. Hopefully like a know-it-all hormonal, temper mental teen I will allow myself to learn, grow up and make something of myself.

Come on self we can do this. Ok, right after this cookie, we can do this!!