This weekend I was given the wonderful opportunity to see Eric Clapton in concert (thank you Louise!) and although I admit I wasn't completely familiar with his music I did know I was watching a legend and it was AMAZING (even for this music amateur) and I just can't help but share...
We arrived early and waited in line huddling closer together as the wind blew and chatting it up with those around us, my sister and I nodding enthusiastically (yet admittedly clueless lol) as some of the conversation covered topics and people we weren't familiar with thanks to the generation gap. Soon we got to file in and began to wander in the direction of our seats, loading up on a snack that cost more than it satisfied, chatting a little to kill time and then parting ways as two of us were in one section and the other two in another. My seats were in the upper level and so after eyeing the stairs for a moment decided the elevator looked appealing, and I justified it since we did have to walk to get to the building and we did walk around the whole arena in search of a coffee stand that didn't exist and I still had to walk back to the car eventually- so up we went. We found our section and headed up the stairs and found our seats in the almost middle of the row. So we climbed over those seated, excuse me....excuse me....sorry (all the while I am hoping I don't take anybody out with my butt) and sat down. Almost. I sat down firmly on both armrests. Oh no. I tried to squeeze in. Nope. I tried to lift an armrest. Nope. I tried to get one hip then the other. Nope. The tears began to form and I stood up- excuse me...excuse me....as I again climbed past everyone apologizing. I was so embarrassed I didn't even tell the person I was with what was going on. I escaped down the stairs, into the hall and behind a pillar and cried. I felt at the lowest of low and absolutely mortified. What was I going to tell my friends I was with? What was I going to do- stand in the hallway? Maybe I could walk around for two hours. I sent a text to my sister and another to my husband looking for help, comfort....something. And being amazing they both text back support and suggestions and love. After I composed myself I found an employee who said he was pretty sure they could help me out and pointed me in the right direction.The right direction was down two flights of stairs and back up one flight to a special ticket booth where I admitted with embarrassment I couldn't fit in my seat and asked if he could help. He said yes, but I needed to get the other person and their ticket so we could trade. So, back down one flight and up two (not quite so fast this time- pant....pant), around the arena and he isn't there. Aaauuuughhh! Back to the hallway- 5 minutes to showtime- and on the phone. He'll meet me. Great! Back down two flights, around the arena....pant...pant.....wait. He shows up! Up a flight, to the ticket booth and you can hear the opening band playing and the crowd cheering. We trade tickets...upper, upper level for FLOOR SEATS???!!?? Whoa! A perk to chunky dunking woo-hoo! (Thank you so much arena employee and ticket booth guy!) So back down a level, down another level, around the arena, down some more and WE MADE IT on the floor!! After letting my sister and her friend know what happened, where we were and taking some deserved razzing we got to enjoy an awesome concert!
The awesomeness of the concert however did not stop the thoughts later on after we were home. I didn't fit in the seat. Not even close. Yes it is embarrassing, but even more it is very sad to me. Now it is true that those particular arena seats are pretty tight on most people- you can ask the other people that were there smaller than me- but that isn't reason enough for me to be justified in not letting this situation be a firm reminder that I do need to face this weight loss challenge head on and defeat it. This time things turned out ok, great actually, but what about next time? I don't want there to be a next time. Chunky dunking in a skinny dip world isn't easy and if I am honest with myself it shouldn't be. I don't need to feel worthless because I am fat, but I do need to own up to the fact that the human body, my human body, wasn't designed to be this big or this heavy and the world around me is designed to accommodate the average or "normal" sized human being and I just don't fit.........YET!!!
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